How Hard Is It To Really Listen?

How many times have you heard someone say, if you want to write better dialogue, listen to how people really talk? How many times have you sat in a cafe to do so? Isn't that what's recommended?

That advice makes sense. Cliches often do. Good writers need to know how people talk if they're going to recreate that speech in their work, right? Well, what happens if writers don't listen well?

Maybe writers that don't really hear, write dialogue that sounds just like them. Just like they talk.

Aaron Sorkin is a marvellous exponent of dialogue but is often criticised for all his characters sounding the same. But do those characters all sound like him? That's two different things.

You can see Sorkin talk in endless interviews on YouTube and god-knows-where else. You be the judge. Does he sound like Leo McGarry?

No, he doesn't.

But does Leo McGarry sound like Josh Lyman. The critics would say yes. And they would say that's a problem. (I personally think Sorkin's characters do have their own rhythms and idioms, but I get what they're saying.)

But my point is they don't sound like him. That's the first step toward great dialogue. And Sorkin has that one nailed.

Sorkin's characters (however alike) have their own voice. A voice that he created and gave them. It's a distinctive voice. You can tell you're watching a Sorkin picture very soon after sitting down. And it's a voice that works for his screenplays.

Sorkin's characters are smart. They're witty. They're insightful. Hopeful. Energetic. They are all those things because those are the stories he writes. (Sorkin often says he writes his characters to be much smarter than him). His characters' speech is the way it is because it needs to be to serve the story.

If Sorkin writes a White House Chief of Staff, he's going to talk fast, suffer few fools, have little time for waffle and have a preexisting high-level of background knowledge and context when the scene starts. Leo McGarry doesn't waste time with exposition. Other characters fulfil that audience need.

A WH senior staffer is going to be smart. And they're going to be well-informed on politics, policy and professional working environments. They're not going to talk like the average person.

Which brings me to a pet peeve.

How many times have you been told to go sit in a cafe and listen to the people there? It's the best way to learn how people talk, say the experts. Seriously, how many times have you heard that?

My advice: if you sit in a cafe and listen really well, you might be able to write a really great scene about people sitting in a cafe.

I get it. There's some truth in that advice. Some. A soldier in a cafe will probably sound different to a retired history teacher. Sure.

But here's the thing. A physicist will probably sound different in that cafe with her daughter than she will in conference with colleagues over that new Many Worlds paper everyone's talking about.

That detective taking a well-earned break over coffee will not sound like they do when interviewing a suspect.

And if you want to know how billionaire entrepreneurs talk, you might have a hard time stumbling across one in the local Starbucks.

If your writing involves interesting characters, it may be they're ordinary people under extraordinary stress. Or they may be extraordinary people doing amazing things. My guess is their speech will evolve from cafe-speak in either case. You're not going to figure out what that rhythm, pitch, vocabulary, cadence and gesture look/sound like unless you dig a bit deeper.

If all your written dialogue sounds like bland, generic white noise, you may be taking the cliche too far. A lot of people sound the same in common spaces like cafes, airports and resturants. What you really need is to hear people communicate in the environments that make them unique.

Most of us have day jobs. We may be management consultants, developers, cops, nurses, architects, mechanics, manufacturing plant managers. Try listening well in those places. Try reading or watching interviews with real people that do what your characters do.

If you're writing about futuristic space travellers, try actively listening to current and former astronauts. Study the sentence length. The prevalence of cliché. The vocabulary. The willingness to explain. The willingness to listen to the other person talking. Get a feel for cadence and rhythm by watching tours of the ISS.

If you want to know how politicians talk, volunteer somewhere. If you want to know how cops talk, ask to meet some. If you want to know how doctors talk, go to medical school and become one. Everyone needs a day job anyway...

The cafe as Holy Grail for listening distracts from the real lesson.

If you want to know how your characters should sound, find the closest thing in real life, find out where they work, and make it happen. Unless your protagonist is a barista. But I feel like I've already read that book.